


Fifty Unwanted

by LittleBlueBook



Series: Fifty Moments [3]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Briefest mention of Nick’s father, Denial, Developing Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Sentences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 10:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20795306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBlueBook/pseuds/LittleBlueBook
Summary: Nick thinks, Nick worries, Nick loves.





	Fifty Unwanted

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bulletproof_love](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bulletproof_love/gifts).

> Based on the [50 Sentences](https://1sentenceorder.livejournal.com/1531.html) challenge on live journal, the theme set was Beta.
> 
> Unbeta'd!
> 
> Please leave feedback in the form of comments, constructive criticism and kudos. Pure hate will be promptly made fun of and deleted.
> 
> After all "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"

“Excuse me,” Nick growled as he shouldered past the slightly taller man. 

Gray eyes twinkled slightly before the man gave way, letting Nick pass. 

The detective felt a familiar unwanted swoop that he wished he was brave enough to explore. 

Instead he ignored it, not allowing himself to think about it.

His father had taught him to ignore these feelings, and Nick would never go against his father.

But of an evening as he lay in bed he allowed his mind to wander, only to crash back to reality the next morning.

Forbidden thoughts discarded like a tissue in trash.

-

Mike had seen those eyes before, smooth brown staring into amber coloured liquid.

The brunette had an intense look in his eye, Mike couldn’t help but feel drawn to it.

He downed his own drink and approached the man, forgetting that he should be watching the bride and groom dance. 

“Buy me a drink?” He said smoothly, “it’s my birthday.”

“It’s a wedding,” there was a long silence followed by a small scoff. “I’m sure it’s on the house.”

Mike tried again to initiate conversation, “whose side of the family are you on?”

As his companion turned to him Mike felt his face burn red.

His heart thumped wildly, his head spun, his breath hitched.

If this man denied him in this moment his heart would break.

As Mike offered his name he couldn’t believe how beautiful this stranger was.

The gruff response made Mike’s heart swell.

“Have you seen the view from the balcony?”

-

Brown hair, soft blue eyes, and a lopsided smile was all that was needed to make Nick feel warm.

As he lay in bed, quietly listening to the other man breathe, Nick allowed himself to relax.

He even allowed the corner of his mouth to twitch when Mike snorted suddenly.

As the rays of the early morning sun began to creep through the crack in the curtain familiar concerns began to claw their way into Nicks mind.

His father’s angry, disappointed tones rang in his memory.

Nick stole one last glance at Mike’s sleeping figure before he made his decision.

He jumped out of bed and quickly began to gather his clothes, trying hard not to wake his bedmate.

As he closed the door to the hotel room behind him he let out a bitter laugh, he felt a fool.

He turned back towards the door, hand reached out towards the handle shaking as contradicting thoughts raged inside his mind. 

Eventually he withdrew his hand and stalked down the corridor, nothing so beautiful would ever want him for more than a night.

-

Every time Mike caught a glimpse of deep brown eyes he would need to tell himself to just breathe.

He would look for the familiar smirk, the spark of passion in the brown.

And would always be disappointed when it was just another stranger staring back.

Mike couldn’t help but curse his own stupidity.

But this pair of eyes were different he hummed to himself.

“Gonna run again?” Mike murmured, his own eyes running over Nick’s handsome face.

At first worry flashed through those all too familiar eyes, though it quickly changed to something far more enticing.

“I thought it was you,” Nick’s voice sounded like music to Mike’s ears.

What should have been a brief conversation turned into something longer than Mike ever dreamed and soon he found himself in another unfamiliar hotel room.

It was Nick who initiated the first kiss, and the second, but it was Mike who captured Nick’s mouth the third time.

Mike couldn’t help but hope that this time he wouldn’t awaken to an empty bed.

-

Mike had appeared out of nowhere and Nick held back a bitter laugh.

Nick had tried to remain unaffected, but no matter how hard he fought he still felt drawn to the taller man.

Mike’s eyes, nose, mouth, lips; everything about him made desire pool in Nick’s stomach.

And once again he found himself holding Mike as he slept.

This time though Nick felt as though this was exactly where he was supposed to be.

Still, he climbed out of bed and watched as the sun sank below the horizon.

As he heard Mike stir, Nick took a deep breath and turned to face his lover.

Mike nodded silently before closing his eyes once more.

“Go back to sleep,” Nick murmured as he took one last look at the purple sky.

For the first time in his life, his father’s voice was silent.

  
  
  



End file.
